the blizzog @ jamiegaines.com

Is there a more pointless chewing gum ever than Juicy Fruit?

I'm not really down with fruit-flavored gum in the first place - though I've never been known to turn down a piece of Grape Hubba Bubba or some Wild Cherry Big League Chew - but can Juicy Fruit even be considered fruit-flavored?  What fruit is it?  What fruit do you know of that's pasty tannish-gray and tastes like a Fruit Roll-Up and a dog turd had a baby?  I haven't seen this in the produce aisle lately, have you?

Juicy Fruit looks nasty, tastes nasty... it even smells nasty.  I don't understand how anyone could suddenly perk up and say, “Damn, I wish I had a stick of Juicy Fruit.  Thirty seconds of semi-sweet barf flavor followed by thirty minutes of chalky aftertaste sure would hit the spot right now.”  Disgusting.

JT argues that Fruit Stripe is a more pointless gum, mostly because the flavor only lasts for about 3 seconds in your mouth before you're chewing on what amounts to a squishy Bic pen cap.  I would disagree.  What Fruit Stripe lacks in flavor longevity it makes up for in character and pluck.  At least Fruit Stripe has some colors to it that resemble the colors of actual fruit, unlike the aforementioned cardboard berry that Juicy Fruit seems to be going for.

Fruit Stripe is also rocking the trippy zebra, Yipes, that has the freaky colored stripes.  Fruit Stripe realizes that if you can't have flavor that lasts a long time, the least you can do is have a mascot with some LSD overtones.  Did I mentioned the zebra's name is Yipes?  Good times.

So to summarize: Juicy Fruit sucks.  Fruit Stripe has character, and that counts for something.

Now that we have that cleared up, I need to go buy some Wild Cherry Big League Chew.