26 Aug 2003

Bad Ham

I have loved Weird Al ever since I was a kid. NPR did a cool interview with him last week about how he got started. In essence, he said he liked to make up alternate words to songs as a kid and just never grew out of it.

I love doing stuff like that and have always thought that I could write a good parody song if I put my mind to it. Maybe someday I'll get off my keester and do it, but until then I can just idolize my good buddy Gangsta Jeffro. You may know him better as Jeff Turner, my friend, business partner, insufferable State Fan, and publisher of the Internet's Jeff Turner.net.

Jeff actually wrote, produced, and recorded a parody song a few years ago called "Bad Ham" solely for the purpose of making fun of his brother, publisher of the Internet's MarkTurner.net You should download Bad Ham (~3MB) and have a listen. It's good times.

Since we at the Blizzog thought this was so cool, we decided to sit down with Gangsta Jeffro himself for our first Blizzog Artist Profile.

What is the story behind the creation of "Bad Ham"? It has something to do with your brother, Mark, right?

Right. It was back during Hurricane Fran. Mark had a "Hurricane Party" at this apartment. We had a few drinks and hung out in the dark. The next morning we were all a little rough, but Mark especially, which is completely out of character for him. So we asked him what was wrong and he said the ham he had last night must have been bad because he wasn't feeling too well. So naturally we teased him about it for a while.

When did you do this? How long did it take you?

I guess Fran was in 1996 so this would have been 97. Mark had a "Hurricane Party Anniversary Party", so I thought it would be funny to write up a song to make fun of him at his party. The whole thing took about 2 weeks. I tweaked the lyrics throughout but the actual recording only took a few days.

This was back before you could download almost anything off the Internet in MP3 format. How did you arrive at using "Mo Money, Mo Problems" for your parody? Where did you get the instrumental version?

Yeah, that was a popular song at the time, and it was easy to put almost anything you wanted into the chorus, so it just kind of flowed. Rap singles usually had the instrumental versions as the "B" side (or the other track on the CD) so I picked one up at Sam Goodys, cause you know, Sam Goodys got it. Heh. Sam Goodys.

How exactly did you record this? Was it all done on the computer?

No, man I wish. It was all done on a Tascam 4-track recorder from my band days. I also used a Delay/Reverb effects pedal to simulate my three fine looking background singers. If I had the tools I have today, there's no telling how far this would have gone. Tens of people might have heard it!

Do you think you have another parody in you some day?

Absolutely. I'm always looking for opportunities to make fun of someone. It makes me feel better about myself.

Do you think that if I did a parody too we could team up and have a hit record on the Slim-G Entertainment label?

Only if we could do a "East Carolina" vs "West Carolina" (or Mid-Carolina I guess) thing and end up shooting each other. I might also be interested in becoming the Suge Knight of your Slim-G label.

What's in your refridgerator right now?

Lots of stuff, but no ham. I stopped eating ham because it can make you sick. I stay away from it like Dan Cortese from acting lessons.

How many times a day do you watch Scarface?

Not enough. I actually have been looking for it on DVD just in case MTV stops by. I have the Godfather box set, so hopefully that's good enough. That and I have a bunch of "Cheaters" on Tivo.

Is there any truth to the rumor that you once dated Lil' Kim?

No, actually that's not true. She thought I said "will you go with me" on the bus one day but I really said "can I have some of your Nerds" and she got really mad at me when she found out we weren't an item. Her Dad was a painter and her Mom worked at the Harris Teeter. Little Kim Mooneyham. She was kind of dorky, but in a nice way. That's the one you're talking about, right? How do you know her?

What is your favorite Weird Al song?

It's a toss up. I love "All about the Pentiums" being a computer guy, but I also gotta give it up to "Can't Watch This" and "Here's Johnny." Actually my favorite might the one you turned me onto -- "This is the Life", from Johnny Dangerously. That's a great song.

Gangsta Jeffro's latest album, Did I Say That Out Loud? will be available this fall.